I have tried again and again to say what is on my mind. I have talked to more than a hundred people about what has happened to my family and I. It has been hard for me to explain how I feel and what is really going on in my head. I can honestly say words just do not describe it. There are feelings of sorrow, hurt, gut wrenching pain, happiness from good memories, joy from seeing the works of my savior, and a longing for a person that I have never felt before in my life.
This blog was suppose to be a place where I could tell about how my agpilot was working hard, being a great dad, and reaching all of his life long dreams. I never thought it would be a blog about my journey of being a “former” agwife. A diary of a journey I did not pick for myself, but rather a journey that was picked for me.
On August 18, 2015, my life was rattled with horrible news. The words a wife and a mother never ever want to hear, “Lacey, he is gone.” What? Say that again. He had a accident in his airplane. He is gone. Chad Allan Powell left this world doing what he loved to do, but WAY to soon. That is the end.
That is what I thought at first. This is the end of his life, our marriage, and my life. That is what the human side of me told me, but that is not what Christ told me.
I promise in the midst of the pain, Jesus reached down and put out his loving arms. He whispered in my ear, “its going to be ok, Chad is fine, happy, and not worrying anymore.” That may sound crazy, but when your world hits rock bottom, you will hear the voice of God and feel his presence.
Do I think every hour and minute it will be ok? No. I just grasp on to the promises of Jesus and know HE has got this. I miss Chad so much. I have one shirt I smell everyday. It still has his smell and the cologne he sprayed on it. I look at our children and see his features. Sawyer has his hands and Fran has his, well, Hair. ( She looks to much like me) I look at these things and thank God I still have him. Little pieces of him. Wonderful reminders of him.
So here and now I am making it. Trusting God has it. He is making beauty out of the ashes. He will heal my broken heart. I am living in a different way. I live more on trust than myself. I live for today. I live hour by hour. I live minute by minute. I live for Jesus. I tell HIM I am yours, dear LORD use me. Here I am.
Thank you to all that have prayed for our family. Thank you to all that have worked so hard to meet our needs.
We love you all,