As Christmas approaches I have tried to prepare my mind and heart. I have put up a wall. A shield from memories from the past years. Even my memories from last Christmas. I feel if I block out those memories the pain of this Christmas will not be as intense. That is so very far from the truth.
Last night the kids and I experienced our first Christmas event without Chad. We drove there without him, ate without him, and laughed without him. There was never a moment my mind did not think “I am having Christmas without him. This is my life. REALLY?” This was our first Christmas as a family of three, so surreal.
This morning I was thumbing through my bible trying to grasp a story of hope through sadness and struggle. I stopped on a very familiar story. The story of David and Goliath, a story of bravery and trust in God. Although this story was not about sadness or grief it was about a struggle. A struggle against a huge problem. A problem or event that was so much bigger than our little minds can imagine.
I thought this is it!! I am David and the holidays are Goliath. I am facing a enormous giant. I am facing a enormous tragedy. I am facing this head on and can not escape.
I am not facing it ALONE. If David can knock down a giant while trusting God I can too. Instead of putting up a wall avoiding Christmas I can put up my sling shot. Shooting rocks at the lies of Satan trying to hold me down and convincing me this is the worst Christmas I can remember. I have to face the holidays with the thought, I can endure this because Jesus endured the cross for me. Chad is loving Christ as we speak, having Christmas with the new born king, and loving every minute.
I am praying for all experiencing this first year without someone they love!! Just fight like David and be brave!! Shoot your rocks at the lies of satan! God is so much bigger than that stinkin Goliath!!