A Never-Ending Love: In heaven and on earth

The day Chad died I seriously thought life was over. I fell to my knees in disbelief, shock, and fear. My fear was fueled by so many things, but a major thing was knowing I was left alone. Alone. On this earth without Chad. Without my Children’s father. Without a help mate. I felt my future was ripped out from under me. Leaving me with a hopeless future.

Looking back at that day I can see where I layed my trust. Not at the feet of Jesus, but the feet of fear and anxiety! At My own feet!! I knew deep down the Lord would not leave me alone, but I selfishly relied on how I could fix things and not on how God could fix it!!

I can honestly admit that I was worried about being alone. How could I ever love another like I loved Chad. How could I ever trust another like I trusted Chad. How could I ever live normally without Chad.

BUT I came to a point where I lifted my hands on that worry. I said “alright Lord, I will trust you. I know you will fulfill your promises. I know you are faithful. I know you are preparing the perfect person for the kids and I.” (Side note – I thought, “WHO Lord in Cross County.” Just kidding. Not really)

And as I left this at his feet. He showed me I was not alone. He confirmed to me he was preparing someone for me. He would be faithful and I would be joyful again. Not only joyful with another mate, but in Jesus too!! I left My every worry there, at his feet. He led me astray from fear and brought me to something I didn’t think existed anymore. HOPE.

As I begin to move on there is something I have to say and put out there. With moving on with my life, the love I have for Chad will never end. It will always exist. I feel more blessed knowing that I will have loved twice. Real love. Unconditional love. I will have love flowing in heaven and on earth.

There are no rules to this widow thing. There are no rules to love. There are no rules or limitations on what God can give and provide!! His plan is perfect and he will make
the road straight again even when all you see is mountains, HUGE ONES! He is never failing!! His love is never-ending!!


About agwife

The purpose of this blog was a outlet for me to share about being of a agpilot's wife. On August 18th, 2015 my husband was killed while cropdusting. I am now using this as a journal for my family's journey through life. I am still a stay at home mom. I attend college part-time to obtain a Social work degree. Thank you all for reading and taking the time to comment. Love yall

2 responses to “A Never-Ending Love: In heaven and on earth

  1. Leanne

    Lacy it bring me happy tears to read your heart in those words.. My heart broke for you the day I heard the news of a Chad.. It broke for your kids and his family also but I knew you would have an overwhelming fear of where you would go from there… Within a few days my prayer for you changed.. It was for the helpmate/soulmate that I knew God had for you.. Not dismissing how much you love Chad because you have two perfect examples of that love but I prayed for God to open your heart and eyes to SEE what He still had for you. It’s hard to grieve what we miss and lost.. It’s harder to move forward and continue to truly live the life He wants us to have.. It can bring so many emotions.. Depression, anxiety, fear, to to name a few.. They can actually keep us in a state of just existing.. My hearts prayer was that you would not get stuck in that grief… As I see you and hear your words I know that God is moving.. He is answering the prayers of your heart…He is providing.. He is leading you as you hold fierce to Him.. He is going to give you the soulmate of your heart and a father for your kids and I know Chad will continue to be a part of your life.. Your kids will be blessed to have even more people who love them unconditionally.. I am thankful for your sweet spirit and for the trust you have for the Father…. I know God has big things for you and I am grateful to witness some Audacious love ( yes doing the Beth Moore book and learning about BOLDness in His name!). Hang in sister… God is working in you and thru you!! My prayers continue daily for you and your family… Live the life God wants you to live.. Not the ones others think you should have… Your a blessing to many!!! Much love!!!

    • Aww, thank you!! I am so thankful for those that have prayed for my family,specifically for a mate!! Thank you for being such a inspiration to me!! You truly are!!! I do want to be bold and not hold back on anything God has done it is doing!! Thank you for the encouragment!! Love you!

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